That question. Also comes in Do you know what causes that? Don’t you have cable TV? Was that an accident? Are you Catholic? Are you trying to catch up to the Duggars?
|Our first visit to Science Museum Oklahoma! If you haven’t been, you should go!|
Listen, plans are great. I’m a planner. I plan my grocery lists, road trips, weekly meals… but controlling how many babies I had and when was never in my control. I couldn’t plan it, even if I wanted to… and I did want to.
I got pregnant for the first time about 4 months after we started trying. I miscarried at 8 weeks. It was 13 months after that miscarriage before I got pregnant again. We did nothing to prevent getting pregnant and tried everything (aside from medical intervention) to try to make it happen. We had decided we were ready for a baby, and it took more than 2 years for her to come. It was by far the most frustrating time of my life. Every woman I knew was pregnant, including my sister. This wasn’t my plan, and it was hard.
When Jaylin came home, we were over the moon. I never gave a second thought to wanting her to have siblings. I fully expected it to take a long time, but excitedly found out I was pregnant with Zander when she was just 5 months old. Also not my plan.
When Enzo was born, Jaylin was almost 3 and Zander was almost 2. We were living in a small, two bedroom house and I was exhausted and stressed. I suffered from postpartum depression and had to be medicated for a few months. I felt embarrassed and didn’t want anybody to know. That was definitely not my plan.
I found out I was pregnant with Roman right after Enzo’s first Christmas. Enzo was just 5 months old. I cried. We had made a little effort at birth control after Enzo was born, but pills made me sick and we’re honestly just too inconsistent for the ‘other’ methods. Very clearly, not. my. plan.
After Roman was born I remember thinking ‘This is it! Our family is complete and perfect.’ And then… Jaylin started praying for a sister. And the more I heard her sweet prayers every night, I started praying for her a sister too. Enter Dylan. Sort of a plan.
So to answer your questions:
I always wanted a big family, but didn’t have the game plan mapped out.
We do happen to know that sex causes pregnancy and are aware there are ways to improve your chances of preventing it.
We subscribe to Dish Network & Netflix, but I’m convinced either of the two are more prone to cause pregnancy than prevent it.
I refuse to believe that any child is an accident. Cliché, I know… but for real.
We have zero interest in being followed around by cameras and/or being on TV, bringing back 80’s bangs, driving a commercial-sized van, or eating tater tot casserole.
Now I know the next question: ARE YOU DONE? If you must know, Micah has had a vasectomy… but adoption has and never will be off the table for us, and God is in the surprise miracle business, so stay tuned!
A friend told me about Faithbox a while back, and I was intrigued… and then they sent me their January box to review! I was so excited to see what was in it!
Romolo Munroe Feather Pendant Necklace ($28)
Leggings from Two Scrambled Eggs
Booties from the Relish Clothing boutique
Every picture I took in this dress is blurry, because I was constantly wriggling around trying to make it fit right. It just wasn’t working. I wanted it to work SO bad. I love the plaid and I LOVE this style. Unfortunately, the sleeves were super tight and the belly area puffed out a little more than I’d like. I can’t have people speculating about baby #6 (not happening!)
Truthfully, I hated this one out of the box. I just thought it looked kind of old. But when I tried it on and took pictures I kind of like it… not sure I $68 like it, but I’m considering it…
Overall, I’m very happy with this box. Julie gave me exactly what I asked for… just minor details on a few things and the fit of that cute little dress are keeping me from buying more. We’ll get ’em next time, I’m sure of it!
Still deciding? Check out some of my other Stitch Fix reviews to see more of what they have to offer!
Enzo fell and smashed his face on the floor last Tuesday night. He had to get 7 stitches in his forehead. On Thursday, he fell again… busted several of the stitches from Tuesday night. The ER doctor couldn’t even stitch it the second time; because, honestly, there wasn’t much skin left to stitch. On Friday, his new seizure helmet came in the mail. He hates it. I hate it. But I have to force him to wear it as much as I can, so (hopefully) his head can heal. Yesterday morning he was wearing his helmet, had a seizure, and split his top lip. I am so tired of him being hurt, having to clean up his blood and hear his sad little cries. It’s not fair. He should be healthy. He should be normal. He just should.
(For those that don’t know Enzo has epilepsy related to a genetic mutation on one of the Sodium channels in his brain – SCN1A)
More days than not lately, I’m struggling, I’m scared, and I’m frustrated… it’s paralyzing. You know what keeps my feet moving forward? This life and these struggles are temporary. And worry and fear are human nature, MY nature, but ‘God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind‘ (2Tim 1:7). The Holy Spirit that dwells inside of me gives me the strength to find joy when the world says I should feel sorrow, to find peace when I’m told to feel angry. When you ask how we’re doing and I say “good”, I mean it. The God that created the universe loves Enzo more than I know how to. He has a plan for his life and for mine. How is there not comfort in that?
Don’t be fooled into thinking that I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t. When Enzo busted his lip yesterday, I sat on the couch and cried like a baby for a good 30 minutes before I thought ‘hmm, this might be a good time to talk to God.’ And 30 seconds later 2Tim 1:7 was in my head. I didn’t even know I had that verse memorized; I guess I really didn’t. I had to google to find the location of the words in the Bible. That’s how God operates. He knows my need before I ask and is ready to set me straight, giving me just the right words at just the right moment.
Thank you all for following our journey through this. Please continue praying for healing for Enzo, that he will wear his helmet, and that we stay full of the kind of power, love and soundness of mind only God can provide.
UPDATE: His friends at school told him he looked like Lego man in his helmet, and he thought that was pretty cool!